STLBeartender

I’m at the Peabody Opera House in STL watching her live. Woot!

What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but have been to nervous or scared to?

Rated G through XXX?

1. What is your current relationship status?  Im in an open or semi-monagamous relationship with DJCubster for going on six years. 

2. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? Why? When i was single I preferred being single :-) However having been in a relationship for this long I now prefer to be in a relationship. When you’re single you get to act on your most selfish impulses at any given time cause you are only looking out for you. Being with D, I now have something more to look out for and that is a fulfilling experience. It’s also nice to be with someone who compliments you. I tend to be more reserved and less social at time. D is my exact opposite and has helped to draw me out of my shell and make me appreciate the here and now more.

3. How many relationships have you been in? Counting high school sweethearts, 7.

4. What was your longest and shortest relationship? Longest would be DJCubster. We met and started dating when he was 19 and I was 21. He is now 25 and I am 27. Shortest relationship was 3 months. 

5. Are you a virgin? If no how old were you when you lost it? LMFAO, I’m not a virgin but I’m sure if I ask god he could restore my physical and spiritual purity ;-) (name that movie) I lost the V card at 19.

6. Do you think sex is important in a relationship? explain? Of course I do. However I think there is a difference between physical sex and emotional sex. I can perform and have strictly physical sex for pleasure with someone I find attractive. I don’t need some deep emotional connection, just a hard on and some time. The kind of sex I have with D allows for a more intimate connection. I love him and so I trust him completely. He is the only person in my life I have ever had condom free sex with. That in itself is a big deal for me. Making love to him is fun, carefree, exciting, tender, raunchy, rough, and most importantly emotional. Knowing there are things we reserve only for us and having that connection helps to reaffirm our relationship. We don’t always get to have kinky mind blowing sex. After you’ve been together for a while sometimes its just about doing something together in the 15 minutes you are passing each other out the door. We sometimes joke that usually it’s about connecting and making love and sometimes it’s about marking each others territory ;-)

7. Have you ever had a one night stand? I am a good christian white woman, of course I have never…Who am I kidding, I’m gay in an open relationship. Of course I have had one night stands.

8. What is your opinion of one night stands? They can be fun and exciting but they aren’t nearly as fulfilling as a relationship. I have a complicated set of thoughts regarding them that I won’t go into here. 

9. How many people have you had sex with? Tricky question depending on what your definition of is is? Let’s just say I’m not 19 anymore.

10. Why did you and your most recent ex break up? I didn’t feel as intense an emotional connection with him as I wanted to. I was in college and thing were moving quickly and awkwardly for me. THe sad part that i regret is I broke up with him to focus on school and myself and then 3 months later I meet Dustin and have been with him ever since. 

11. How many people have you kissed? I’m a make out whore. I had e no honest to God clue how many people I have kissed.

12. Ever have unprotected sex? Yes, with 1 and only 1 person see above.

13. What do you think makes a good relationship? I would like to think D and I have it pretty good. We aren’t afraid of a fight and don’t throw in the towel and the most minor of controversies or disagreements. Recognize that you can love someone but you don’t always have to like them. Thats okay. Communication is key and don’t forget the small stuff. Ex. I wasn’t feeling well the other night and D brought me crackers and 7-up and sacrificed his only night off this week to sit and hold my hand and watch WWII documentaries with me (even though he hates them) just to make me feel better. I know the amount of lemon he likes in his diet coke and will go out of my way to pick him up a soda with lemon just cause I know that little thought and effort makes him feel loved and appreciated.

14. Have you ever been in love? Yes :-)

15. When do you believe is the right time to say I love you? When you first think you do love someone. Too many times people try to follow a ridiculous set of asinine rules regarding relationships that I think contribute to a lot of lonely scared people being out there. It’s a risk to put yourself out there like that but then isn’t that the point? Say it when you feel it and maybe you’ll be lucky enough to wake up to that person for a long time after that. Plus they are probably feeling it too and just as afraid to say it. There is nothing sexier in my opinion than a man who can admit to his feelings and isn’t afraid of the tender moments and the risk they entail. 

16. How old were you when you had your first kiss? My first romantic kiss was in the 8th grade. It was more chaste and innocent but it counts. 

17. Have you ever had your heart broken? Of course, who hasn’t?

18. Have you ever regretted sex or a relationship with someone? No, not necessarily. I do regret waiting so long to come out but if I had come out earlier or later I wouldn’t have met D. The circumstances of my coming out process is partly what led us to meet at the right time for us. I do wish I hadn’t gone through  a I can fuck the gay out if I stick my dick in enough vagina. That wasn’t really fair to those women but everyone knew what they were getting into at the time. I wasn’t promising love and marriage, we were drunk and it was one night stands. I also maintained contact and friendship with most of those women so…

19. Is there an ex you would love to get back together with? No. Of the 7 relationships I have been in only two of those 7 were men. Considering I’m firmly entrenched with Team Gay now, that would be a little awkward. That being said, there is one in particular I would like to reconnect with. She was my longest relationship outside of D and she is a really unique, interesting, smart, beautiful person. I’m 100% positive that if I hadn’t broken up with her to come out of the closet we would be married right now. I’m just curious how she is doing. Don’t get me wrong though, if D and I could be married right now we would. He is 10X a better fit for me.

20. Do you want to get married? If yes, how old would you like to be? Yes I do. D and I have been engaged for over a year now. We are waiting for America to get its collective head out of its ass but as soon as we can have some federal recognition we will do it. In all the ways that really count though, we already are.